Do you ever find yourself in a “Quick! Run away! Escape!” mindset, and end up doing stupid things that are detrimental to yourself in pure haste? Not thinking, not asking and definitely not being ‘present’. When it's Fight or Flight and you're fully off the runway already with your wheels up. This could be when you've accidentally liked someone’s Instagram post from five years ago, and now you look like a right stalker! So, you panic and throw your phone in a river, not thinking that you actually need it for the other 99% of your life, and now you're screwed as it floats along the current and out to sea.
OK, that's a pretty extreme example but we've all felt it, even if we didn't do it. For me, my “Quick! Abort mission!” frenzy looked more like me steaming out of Brands Hatch the wrong way, turning in entirely the opposite direction as I failed to take a breath and let my satnav route itself.
“I don't care where I'm going, just get me out of here!” My PTSD screamed, after a perfectly brilliant day up until the uncanny Deja vu moment at the end of it, which sent my anxiety into a spiral. I didn't say anything to anyone, but maybe I should have? That's partly my problem. I never want to be a moaner and for almost every other second of that day, it’d been awesome! I felt nothing but happiness and gratitude to be there like I always do. I guess I just let the panic button get pressed in my brain right at the last minute. I ended up on a magical mystery tour of the Fawkham countryside and I was basically taken in one MASSIVE circle, adding an extra 50 minutes to my already long journey. I then ended up being taken back through the Dartford tunnel, instead of over the Dartford bridge. As if I wasn't paranoid enough, I was now being gassed by carbon monoxide in a tunnel. Lovely! But like all uncomfortable scenarios, there was light at the end of it.
I was actually heading to Berkhamsted to stay the night at my uncles, before driving to Windsor for a fancy DJ gig for Mini and BMW. I felt so bad turning up at my dear uncle’s (who I don't get to see often) in an absolute smelly, sweaty, dusty, delirious, heat-stricken state. Not fit for any kind of conversation, just a gallon of iced coffee, a good wash, a paracetamol for my banging headache, and half a bottle of aftersun for my T-shirt tan sunburn. Sorry Uncle Dennis for having to host me in all my gory spot-popped glory!
The next morning, once feeling more alive, I decided to take the scenic route to Windsor. My soundcheck wasn't until 5:30pm and I couldn't check into my room till 3:00, so I might as well go cross country, taking my time to get there and seeing some pretty places on the way. Shout out Amersham Old town and Farnham common. You were lovely! Until I drove past an actual forensic (possible murder) scene at the Boat Club, and it all suddenly felt very Midsomer Murders…
I kept driving and stopped off by the one and only Windsor Castle for a spot of lunch. I slung my hire car in a nearly empty car park right next to the castle. I did wonder why it was so eerily quiet in there but that's cos it was a whopping £7 an hour Sophie!!!
My femur was throbbing a bit after such a long day at the track yesterday and I’d no time or energy for rehab exercises or massaging, but I'd sort that once I got to the hotel gym. The hotel itself? Oh. My. Lord…! 5-star country estate luxury at its finest! Once I’d got over the issue/ embarrassment at check in, when I didn't realise my room was booked under someone else’s name and they clearly thought I was a scam artist trying to blag a free room… with my tall tale of being a DJ for BMW with a bad leg, as I stood there looking very out of place in my 90’s Adidas joggers with the poppers. (Sporty Spice would be proud!)
Booking retrieved, I was taken up to my room and given a guided tour of how all the fancy buttons and switches work. The heated marble floor, the remote-controlled curtains and where the secret pull out drawer of pods were for the Nespresso machine! Yes, you read that right: there was a Nespresso machine already in the room for me! Along with a roll top bath and velvety robe. Can I just live here?! I was torn between not wanting to leave the room and also wanting to explore. And also trying not to forget what I was actually here for: a soundcheck and then two performances, sandwiched between the celebrity guest whom I was sworn to secrecy about.
Once I eventually prised myself away from the 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton, I headed down to the gym to spin my leg out on the bike after all the driving. I pretended to be listening to my AirPods when really I was listening in with fascination to all the high-powered businessmen's phone calls. They were basically on Zoom meetings with Singapore and running empires while gasping on a cross trainer, sweating all over their Rolexes. Me? I was just buzzing about the mountain of free fruit in the tiered fruit bowl in the foyer. I would love to have spent longer in that swanky gym, but it was soundcheck o’clock!
I always get really nervous before gigs but do feel slightly better once I know all the equipment is working properly, the sound and AV team are happy, and I've had a mini jamming session testing out some new tracks. After that, it's Showtime! Once I'd changed into my DJ outfit of course. I went with a hot pink satin suit which thankfully covered yesterday's T-shirt sunburn.
The celebrity guest was none other than Gok Wan, and I was praying he wouldn't remember me from when I was 19 and auditioned for one of his shows. I'd say he definitely didn't as I wear a lot less eyeliner and fake tan nowadays. I went to chill in my dressing room while he did his set. Mainly to rest my femur but also to enjoy the bananas and vegan protein bars they’d provided for me. I was living the dream, fuelling up for my power hour closing set, until my filling came out! Leaving a gaping hole at the back of my mouth. For God’s sake! I should have just stuck to eating fillet steak for my protein fix!! Clearly the universe is telling me this. Thankfully, the pain hadn't kicked in yet and I was able to smash out the bangers for the liveliest of crowds. They were a slightly younger demographic than I expected so I took a couple of musical risks by throwing in some Drum and Bass tracks.
To my delight they went down a treat and I probably jumped around on my leg way more than I should have… But I couldn't help it! Especially when I'm blasting DJ Fresh ‘Gold Dust’ and haven't danced or moved like this in MONTHS! Or worn a pink suit. Or required emergency dental work. But let's focus on the positives: When I got back to my room there was a chocolate on my pillow, slippers by my bed and they’d done a whole turn down service.
Now, providing I didn't wake up with a massive abscess in my mouth or worryingly bad femur pain from too much jumping about, life was good! Another milestone completed. My comeback DJ gig! Thank you Mini and BMW, it's always a pleasure.
Now I just need to keep building my strength up so I can be on my feet for longer, ring my dentist at 8:00 AM and stop eating vegan protein bars.
Comments